#firstworldproblems

My TiVo is really stressing me out. I could say, “Wait! Wait! Hear me out before you judge!” but judge away at my insane and dumbdumb problem. I will explain. I have a handful (roughly 45% worth) of unwatched shows saved onto the DVR that I haven’t had time to view. Some of these episodes have been saved for weeks. Weeks. I feel like I have to add “Watch last three episodes of American Horror Story” to my To-Do list. I understand the shows aren’t going anywhere. And even if they are somehow deleted, (pleaseletthatnothappen) everything in my life will still be just fine. I get that. It’s not that I’m obsessed with TV. I find it relaxing and entertaining. Honestly, at this point, it’s not even that I NEED to see how the stories progress. I just feel like I committed to watching these shows and I’m letting them down. Sometimes I’ll just turn on a show and not even pay attention so the episode will be complete and there will no longer be a little blue dot next to the episode title showing me I haven’t watched it yet. I just hate that little blue dot. It’s taunting me. Little Blue Dot is a sign of all the things in my life that I said I would do but never completed. Who’s to say that little TiVo man isn’t going to stab me in my sleep when the storage is maxed out?! WHO’S TO SAY?

I will not be adding more shows to TiVo. At least not until I finish the current lineup. It’s the most unnecessary stressor. Plus I have Season 2 of House of Cards and Orange is the New Black on Netflix. That’ll keep me busy. Wait…..did Season 2 of Orange come out yet? Did I make that up? Or is it soon to come out? I am a quick Google away from the answer to this question. I feel so out of touch with the entertainment world. I had only seen one of the movies up for an award at The Oscars. Despicable Me 2, nominated for Best Original Song. That’s the only one. Guess I’m not in college anymore when I could binge on TV shows for seasons at a time and afford to see all of the movies. I miss that time. I miss having time.

I’m too busy right now. I’ve talked to a couple of friends about this, about my life trend of being either packed full of activities go go going at all times or nothing. I think a real big theme popping out here is Balance. With a lot of things, I’m very hot and cold. I’m fine for a bit. I can sustain myself for a long time on 4 and a half hours of sleep and coffee. But it’s starting to get to me. I’m developing Bob Costas eyes from lack of sleep. I doze off every train ride and the only way I’ve had a chance to do any laundry is because my BFs apt is right next to his laundry room. It’s basically in-unit.

Tangent: You people with your in-unit, nice, new washer and dryer units should never complain about anything ever. I know I moved to the city and I chose this life but STILL. You live like royalty. Servant-less royalty, but royalty all the same. And don’t even get me started on people with in-unit laundry AND a dishwasher AND a pantry?! Must. Be. Nice.

I should probably quit typing soon because I’m exhausted and I just ate a cookie so there’s no telling where this will end up. OH. Speaking of cookies. I’ve decided on my “lent” give-ups. 1. Sweet Treats. I don’t eat a lot of them because I don’t even like them all that much. The only reason I eat them is because they’re there. That’s stupid. Get rid of them. 2. Coffee shops. I own a coffee maker and there is unlimited coffee at work. There are zero reasons I should be spending more than $4 a month on coffee. See ya, Sbux. 3. Chips. I wasn’t successful in saying no to chips last month so this will be my punishment. I don’t ever feel good after I eat them because I can’t eat a handful, I eat a bag. I need to stop letting the chips control me. And finally 4. Going out for weekday lunch. I’m not taking all restaurants off the table (ha lol get it?) but going out for lunch during work is getting ridiculous and SO expensive. It actually makes me sad to think about how much money I waste. So sad that I want to go out to Potbellys right now for a sandwich. Wait! Shoot! This is the problem! I’m an emotional eater. Waaaaaahhhh.

Maybe that seems like a lot of things to give up. But I think I can do it. And I think I’ll feel great when I succeed. Plus it was either all of those things or alcohol. Soooo…..I—I  guess that says something about my drinking habits. And probably that sentence should be reason enough to give up drinking for a bit. But I don’t want to. Not yet. I’m giving you my chips, let me keep my wine. We’re not even talking about drinking right now, OK? So you can just back the heck off me. I’m opening up to you and you’re being very rude and judgy about how much I drink. I’m working on it. Rome wasn’t built in a day, OK? In this metaphor I am Rome and eventually I will be a glorious empire! AND all the Romans drank wine SO I’M DOING GREAT.